As If ...why even bother Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee

Soft. Understated. And rolling its eyes in fauxligraphy.

The As If. Tee is your official response to performative soft launches, jam jars with agendas, and whatever that was. Draped in elegant script and paired with a deadpan whisper of why even bother, this tee doesn’t shout — it sighs. And somehow, that’s worse.

Crafted for the quietly judgmental and the aesthetically superior, this shirt is what you wear when someone asks your thoughts on "the new lifestyle brand" and you’d rather not say it out loud (but still want the room to know exactly how you feel).

Pair it with minimal effort, maximum detachment, and a schedule too full for press tours.

The Vibe:

• Montecito calm. Malibu side-eye.

• Best worn while pretending not to read the Daily Mail.

• Does not include jam. Or crepes. Or delusions.

  	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
  Width, in	18.00	20.00	22.00	24.00	26.00	28.00	30.00	32.00
  Length, in	28.00	29.00	30.00	31.00	32.00	33.00	34.00	35.00
  Sleeve length (from center back), in	15.10	16.50	18.00	19.50	21.00	22.40	23.70	25.00
  Size tolerance, in	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50

   

Product features
- Shoulder tape stabilizes the back and prevents stretching
- Made without side seams for a sleek look
- Elastic ribbed knit collar retains its shape
- Constructed from strong, smooth cotton fabric
- Ethically produced with 100% US cotton

Care instructions
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: low heat